Wedding Speeches and Toasts

The Do’s and Don’ts for Delivering the Best Man Speech

As the best man, delivering a memorable speech at your friend’s wedding is both an honor and a responsibility. It’s a chance to celebrate the groom and his new spouse while entertaining the guests with anecdotes and well-wishes. However, navigating the delicate balance between humor and sentimentality can be challenging. To ensure your speech hits the mark, here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:

The Do's and Don'ts for Delivering the Best Man Speech
Photo by Gustavo Fring

Do:

  1. Introduce Yourself and Your Connection to the Groom: Start your speech by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the groom. Whether you’re childhood friends, college buddies, or work colleagues, sharing your connection sets the stage for your remarks.
  2. Highlight the Groom’s Positive Qualities: Take a moment to praise the groom’s virtues and admirable traits. Whether it’s his kindness, sense of adventure, or unwavering loyalty, highlighting these qualities paints a positive picture of the groom for the guests.
  3. Acknowledge the Impact of the New Spouse: Discuss how the new spouse has positively influenced the groom’s life. Whether it’s through encouragement, support, or simply bringing out the best in him, acknowledging the new spouse’s role in the groom’s life adds depth to your speech.
  4. Share Relevant Anecdotes: If you have any lighthearted or heartwarming anecdotes that illustrate the groom’s character or the couple’s relationship, feel free to share them. Just ensure that the anecdotes are appropriate for the occasion and won’t embarrass anyone.
  5. Acknowledge the Wedding and Thank the Couple: Take a moment to acknowledge the hard work that went into planning the wedding and compliment the couple on creating a beautiful event. Express your gratitude for being included in their special day.
  6. Include a Toast: If your speech includes a toast, conclude with a call to action, inviting guests to raise their glasses in honor of the newlyweds. Keep it simple and heartfelt.

Don’t:

  1. Comment on Appearance: Avoid making any comments about anyone’s appearance, particularly the bride or bridesmaids. Unless you have an extremely close relationship with them, it’s best to steer clear of this topic.
  2. Tell Embarrassing or Humiliating Anecdotes: While humor is welcome, avoid sharing embarrassing or humiliating anecdotes about anyone, especially the groom. Remember, the goal is to celebrate, not to make anyone uncomfortable.
  3. Reveal Need-to-Know Information: Resist the temptation to share any sensitive or private information about the couple, such as past mistakes or personal struggles. Keep the focus on positive and uplifting stories.
  4. Be Mean or Offensive: Avoid making mean-spirited jokes or comments, even if you think they’re funny. Remember, humor should be inclusive and respectful, not hurtful or offensive.
  5. Include Misogynistic Jokes: Steer clear of any jokes or remarks that perpetuate harmful stereotypes or demean women. Avoid phrases like “ball and chain,” “whipped,” or “trapped,” as they are not only outdated but also disrespectful.
  6. Ramble or Exceed Time Limit: Keep your speech concise and to the point, aiming for no more than 5 minutes, preferably closer to 3. Avoid rambling or going off on tangents, as it can lose the interest of the audience.

By following these do’s and don’ts, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable best man speech that honors the groom, celebrates the newlyweds, and entertains the guests in attendance. Remember, sincerity and authenticity are key, so speak from the heart and let your genuine affection for the couple shine through.