Top Tips To Help You Choose Your Wedding Party
You’ve met your soulmate, you’ve settled on a day, and you’ve probably booked the venue. Now it’s time to choose your support team – the people who are going to be there for the midnight panicky phone calls and the meltdowns when things aren’t going quite to plan – yes, we are talking about your wedding party.
It’s a daunting task; choosing who is going to be standing up with you on the most important day of your life, but fear now: we are here with some advice on choosing the best people to be by your side.
Photo by Gades Photography on Unsplash
Be sure before you ask
Once you’ve asked someone to be a part of your wedding party, it is pretty awkward to change your mind, and you’ll probably risk losing a friend forever if you tried. Don’t jump the gun and ask your entire group of girlfriends from college to be bridesmaids or the guys to be groomsmen as soon as you get engaged. Instead, wait a while – a few weeks or months, even, and really give the decision a lot of thought. The best thing to ask yourself is: will I still be friends with this person in five years? If not, then don’t ask them. It’s a pretty special day – make sure you only have special people as part of it.
Be honest about what you expect from them
Regarding your bridesmaids, you typically expect them to help plan and arrange your bachelorette party, come with you and give you advice on picking your wedding dress. On the day itself, you would hope they would be there to help you get ready and give you some moral support. If you are expecting more from them, be honest about it right from the get-go. They may not be able to commit the time or may have important things happening around key wedding events.
Choose responsible attendants
Your maid of honor and best man especially have essential roles to play. You are going to rely on them for some big wedding tasks, such as planning your bachelorette or bachelor party, and safekeeping of your (expensive!) wedding rings. Make sure that you can trust them and that they provide not only practical but emotional support as well. If you want your best friend as the chief bridesmaid but they have a habit of being a bit flaky – have two chiefs!
Think about alternative roles
If you have a large group of friends and want to involve them all, consider other roles and duties they can undertake. Could they do a reading, or play something at the wedding reception if they are musically talented? Could they help and direct people to seats, or be responsible for looking after someone? Look at their strengths – how can you use them in a way that they will feel like part of the party.
Consider the size of your wedding
While there are no hard rules about how many people are in your wedding party, you will
definitely want to consider how many guests there are in relation to it. If you are having a small and intimate affair, a massive troop of bridesmaid and groomsmen may be a little overpowering.
In the same vein, just one bridesmaid and groomsman at a large wedding may be too much
pressure on them. Generally speaking, if you have less than 150 guests, stick to around four on each side. For bigger weddings, up to 10 is perfectly acceptable. Just remember the more you have, the more complicated it can be to organize – getting them all together for parties, fittings, and rehearsals. It also makes it a lot more expensive!
You don’t have to return any favors
Just because you were ins, someone’s wedding party doesn’t mean you have to return the favor and ask them to be in yours, unless you want to. In the same vein, choose siblings or in-laws if you want to, but don’t feel like you have to.
Break the rules
While we have talked about some traditions, just remember your wedding, your rules. If you want a huge party, have a huge party. If you don’t want one at all, that’s also fine. If you want grooms women and men of honor, go for it. If you want your pet dog as your best man, well that will certainly provide a talking point for your guests! Have a look online and around you for inspiration for less traditional setups.
