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Planning > The Basics
Planning a Second Wedding
Getting married for the second time? Whether you’re a widow or
divorcee taking a second chance at love, or a couple who wants to
renew their vows, maybe you would say, “Been there, done that.” But
is getting married for the second time and preparing for the wedding
as easy as it sounds? As they say, love is lovelier the second time
around. Maybe for some, but for others it may not always be the
case. Pre-wedding jitters, series of activities and events causing
sleepless nights, stress, and worries are just as real whether you
experience it for the first time, or more than once in your life.
While the experience of having been married before would make a
world of difference when one gets hitched again, the lack of
preparations would just flush any amount of experience down the
drain when the wedding turns into a comedy of bloopers or even
worse, a disaster. As folks say, no two weddings are alike, so
preparations for a second wedding call for the same amount of
careful planning as that required of a first-time wedding.
To have a worry-free celebration of your second try at marriage,
consider the following practical tips or suggestions, as follows:
1. Learn from experience. Find some time to sit down and remember
the events that transpired during your first wedding. Was there an
overwhelming turnout of guests and food almost ran out? Don’t let
this happen again and jot it down as one of the things that must be
avoided. If you’re previous marriage was a civil ceremony, then why
not consider getting married in church? In short, avoid committing
the same mistakes and try to learn from past experiences.
2. Be a hands-on bride. This is the second wedding. Forego your
plans of hiring the services of a wedding coordinator. You can do it
yourself! Enlist the help of other family members when you need an
extra hand. Being pretty much experienced in life in general, then
by this time you are now capable of planning your own wedding. Make
your own decisions now. Pick your own color motif for the reception.
Work with your florist, musical arranger, or video/photo service
providers. But be sure that you have discussed the planning with the
groom who might want to get involved, too.
3. Trying out something new. Your first wedding celebration was the
wedding straight out of your dream wedding. You are planning to
repeat the theme, or copy the wedding’s color motif. If it is your
desire to repeat some features in your previous wedding, do not be
too stuck down in history. Do not hold the reception in the same
venue, give out the same wedding mementos, nor play the same music.
4. Second weddings have their fair share of situations common to
union of people in second marriages - their children from previous
relationships. Without forcing them, give the children the chance to
participate in the celebration. Younger children can become your
flower girls or ring bearer, while teenage kids can participate as
junior brides or junior grooms men. But be sure that you discuss it
with them and your ex-spouse.
Second Wedding Etiquette
Assuming that your previous marriage did not tarnish your relations
with your ex-spouse and his or her family, it would be good to
invite them over. After all, failed marriages need not be translated
to failed relations. But if such is not the situation, then do not
force the issue. Doing so will only carry-over unnecessary tension
and issues to your new married life.
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