Bridal Shower Gift Etiquette if you do not plan to attend the Shower


I am invited to two Bridal Showers (one a close friend and another an office colleague) next week but I have summer travel plans with my family. Do I need to send a Bridal Shower Gift if I am not actually attending the showers? I will, however, attend both the weddings later.


Etiquette does not require to send in any gift if you are not actually attending the Bridal shower.

However, if and only if you wish, you can send in a gift in the first case since the Bride is your close friend. You know best how close you are to her and whether you would like to send in a gift even if you are not attending her shower. It might even be something for ‘making up for your absence’ if you are really very close friends.


  1. Ruth says


    I have an etiquette question. If someone is attending a bridal shower, and giving a check as a gift, how should it be make out? To the bride in her maiden name? Or married name to be? Somebody asked me this question, as my son ‘s fiancee’s bridal shower is coming up, and I really don’t have the slightest idea.
    Thanks, and have a great day.

    • KnotForLife says

      Hi Ruth,
      Checks for a bridal shower should always be made out in the Bride’s maiden name. Since she is not a Mrs. yet, and it will take some time after she changes her name, for the changes to reflect in her bank account, it is both, safe and appropriate to gift checks in the Bride’s maiden name.